Silk Road - The Marketplace Introduction
Many years ago (not that many; I'm only 37 years old), I lived a completely different life. Not a day went by that I did not sit at the computer, working diligently on my poetry and prose. I had dreams of becoming famous for reasons that I did not, at the time, understand. Life was hell back then. It was a struggle living every day off of food stamps and social security. I was young, however, with enough vitality to do what needed to be done. I struggled from check to check with only intermittent relief from the stipends that I received from college. Unfortunately, this was not to last, but I had enough foresight to back my writing up where I could always access it.
A few years into my college education, my disturbed mind was careless enough to get caught in a crime in which I would have been innocent, had I stayed in jail and fought that particular charge. It was written in the police report that the person had assaulted me first, so I had a valid self-defense case. Unfortunately, I did not have the foresight to stay in jail long enough to fight the charge. I was only thinking about how I needed to get back to college before I lost my financial aid. In the course of events that were to unfold, I was not able to go back anyways. The night I got out of jail I was offered two paths, and needless to say, at that time I chose the harder path. Today, I would say that this is the reason I have so much faith in the divine and in my God, Christ Jesus. I cannot say that there are not other gods, but to me and for me there is only one Father God. I've got no problem admitting that this led to a life filled with jails, prisons, and institutions. However, I never allowed myself to become institutionalized. This, in my opinion, would have been a folly even greater than having been locked up in the first place. I've since learned that no matter what I face, it does not hurt to take the advice of others, especially those who truly care. However, we must weigh their advice with the advice that is given from God and the divine: spirit guides, angels, and other beings that come from the Divine Source, Father God, whom I call Jesus Christ.
Anyways, my incarceration led to the premature ending of my college education. But I never lost the passion that I have always had for writing and creating. I am the type who tries his earnest to finish what I start. Although I've lost the majority of the work that I've done since the time past, I still retain all the work that I finished prior to that incarceration between the years of 2012 and 2013.
This is an early example and look into the mind of a paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar disorder type 1. I'm not afraid to admit these things about myself because I am not defined by my mental illness or the immediate consequences that having been unmedicated for so long have brought on me. I do hope and pray that you will enjoy these poems, but most importantly, I hope that they give you an idea of the illness that I've suffered for the majority of my life and the detriments that it can have on one's grasp of reality. It is my great pleasure to present to you the works that I have collected over the mentioned timeframe and some even newer. However, I will be presenting this in fragments to make it cheaper to purchase but with one compilation for those interested in spending a little more money.
(Warning: Some of this content is extremely sensitive and should not be read by an audience younger than 18 years old.)
Twisted Despair Volume I
This is the first installment of some of the earliest poetry that I have been able to save over the years. In it are eleven poems that have only been released to my friends and family in Facebook. Today it is my greatest pleasure to present to you the works of a twisted mind for the low price of $1.50.